Phoenix Rising
Today is the last day of 2020 and the turning of the calendar provides a convenient "reset" button of sorts. People around the world are locking in resolutions for the new year and thinking of all the ways they can make next year better than this one. The especially dramatic events of 2020 make this distinction even more apparent than most years.
Most people end up failing in their resolutions for one simple reason; the habit they want to begin (or end) is incompatible with how they view themselves. If you want to begin exercising but view yourself as a lazy couch potato it will be exceptionally difficult to develop a regular fitness routine. Conversely, if you view yourself as an athlete, a sedentary lifestyle and the physique that comes with it will be impossible to tolerate
So how is it possible to so dramatically change one's perspective on life? I like to draw inspiration from wherever I can find it, and I've always had an affinity for ancient mythology. These archetypal stories use symbology to directly affect a deep part of our subconscious minds, often to represent universal ideals found in otherwise unconnected societies around the world. The mythical Phoenix is one such symbol.
The legend of the Phoenix speaks of a majestic bird which lives for several hundred years, before building itself a funeral pyre when it senses its life coming to a close. After engulfing itself in fire, the Phoenix is reborn from its own ashes to begin life anew. This powerful, archetypal symbol is a poignant reminder for me about how to live my own life.
Like most of us, I spent most of my life holding on to my "stories". All the assorted excuses, grievances and grudges that I had acquired over the decades, and which affected every thought and action I produced. My stories were dear to me because they showed me that I was right, and completely justified in feeling the way I did. I was a victim, and one day I would be able to show everyone how right I was.
It was only when my own life began to crumble around me that I realized my stories weren't working. I slowly began to develop awareness about my thoughts and emotions and was shocked to discover that I was on autopilot most of the time. The majority of my thoughts and emotional reactions were not based on what was happening, but on how I had learned to react to similar situations while growing up.
Rather than being the strong, independent grown-up I viewed myself as, I was a child in an adult's body. Some new habits weren't going to be enough. I needed to radically transform myself and the only way to do that was to leave the past behind.
So the culling began. I would observe my reactions to every-day situations then decide whether I felt like that was an authentic reaction, or a pre-programmed response based on earlier life experiences. I was ruthless in dropping anything that didn't belong to me. And rather than resist the change, I fully embraced it.
Much like the Phoenix, I adopted the ideals of death and rebirth. I constantly died to an old version of myself so that a new and better version could be born. By releasing what no longer served me, I created space for the things that do. The life I am living now could not have been created by the old me because he didn't have the beliefs and mindset to allow it.
And at some point in the future, this version of myself will have been added to the ash heap so a new and better version could be born.
So as you look out at the year ahead and wonder how you're going to fit your resolutions into your life, think instead about creating a life where those resolutions harmonize naturally. Decide to become the idealized version of yourself that demands those changes. It's the work of a lifetime, but it's the difference between putting a new coat of paint on a crumbling building and completely rebuilding the foundation.
Which of your stories are weighing you down? Which grudges and resentments are you dedicating precious energy and mental space to cultivating? Choose today to escape the prison of your own mind and torch it on the way out.